Sweatpea Langan

Can’t shake it

Since my divorce I’ve learned to shut my feelings down when it comes to relationships. It’s easy to do once you learn how. When I start thinking too much about a certain guy I’ll just find something else to occupy my mind. This has worked well for a long time, until recently.

I have managed to get this one guy out of my mind but he has started invading my dreams. I’m not going to lie, our relationship is purely sexual. I do not want to fall for him, I can’t have my heart broken again. I should really just stop seeing him, stop answering his calls and texts. I think this is what I’ll do.

Whatever

I’ve never been able to make friends easily. Call it insecurity or shyness or just being picky, but I have always had one or two really good girl friends. After I got married I lost touch with them and was never able to find them again after my divorce.

I have a few friends now, all male, but it’s not the same. I can’t call them up for a good gossip or bitch fest, or go shopping with them, I miss that. If I call up a guy friend when I’m depressed all they want to do is try and fix the problem, a female will listen and help you plot revenge. I can’t go partying with my male friends, they tend to get jealous when I flirt with other guys.

I just need a good friend, someone who won’t want to sleep with me or fix things for me. So, when people tell me, you have to have friends you hang out with, honestly, I don’t.

Twitter is my escape from this, my comedic relief, my mask. I try hard to keep my real life problems private, but I can only keep so much to myself.

The Dreaded Follow Friday

I can see why some people can’t stand Follow Friday on Twitter. Who wants their twitter stream flooded with a bunch of names? I’m not going to follow any recommendations that resemble this:

#FollowFriday @name1 @name2 
@name3 @name4 @name5
@name6 @name7 @name8

Why should I follow? Are they funny? It’s follow friday vomit all over my time line. What’s worse then this? Retweeting EVERY SINGLE RECOMENDATION YOU GET!! It’s worse then follow friday vomit. I’m going to start unfollowing whoever does this.

If you want someone to actually follow the people you mention, add a description to it. Or do individual mentions. I like to retweet something funny the person said, kind of like saying, here’s an example of how they tweet, follow for more.

I think #FollowFriday would be much less of a pain if we didn’t just vomit a list of names. It’s kind of lazy and if you really wanted anyone to follow these people you would try to make it meaningful.

I’m not saying I’m a twitter expert, these are just my opinions.

And like that your life has changed

The beginning of my son

The day I found out my 3rd baby was a boy I was ecstatic!! I already had two girls, it was time for something different. This pregnancy was going so smoothly, I was never nauseated, not extremely sleepy, just the right amount of weight gain. It was all perfect!

I drove myself to all of my doctor’s appointments, a good thirty minute drive, never expecting anything out of the ordinary from these visits. I was in my 6th month of pregnancy when the normal doctor’s visit turned into something that other people go through never me.

I was having a routine sonogram but the technician was taking longer then usual, measuring and re-measuring. I just figured she was new and didn’t know what she was doing. She printed out the sonogram with the measurements and walked silently out of the room. I figured something is wrong with the machine. She walked back in with another woman who, took more pictures and measurements. . She assured me it was probably nothing to worry about (what was nothing to worry about??) and to get dressed and please wait in the hall to speak with the doctor.

I waited for what seemed like hours. Trying hard to figure out what was wrong. He finally called me into his office and asked me about my family (he and my dad are good friends). Just get to it, I kept thinking. He let out a big sigh and told me my baby’s head was measuring larger then normal. That it was probably nothing to worry about but they want to run more tests. I figured he meant another time, maybe next week, he meant immediately. Oh God, this is more serious then anyone is telling me.

It was dark by the time I left the office. . I was sore from being poked and examined. I was in complete shock. Hydrocephalus (water on the brain), for some reason his brain fluid wasn’t draining properly. The doctor said he would see me weekly from this point on to measure any changes. This couldn’t be happening, it didn’t feel real.

A Good Cause

Over 3.5 million people in America are homeless and most exist without a voice. Mobile Loaves & Fishes, an Austin-based nonprofit providing food and homes to the homeless and working poor, is changing that with the launch of a dramatic new mobile giving and awareness campaign, “I Am Here.”

April 27-28, Mobile Loaves & Fishes is teaming up with Austin-based marketing firm T3 and Reagan Outdoor Advertising to elevate the issue of homelessness to a level that nobody can ignore.

Please show your support for this great cause. More details to come! Be sure to tune into http://www.iamheremlf.org on the morning of April 27 to check out the big unveiling.

Here’s how you can help now:

Text “DANNY” to 20222 to donate $10 to this worthy cause and help Danny and Maggie, and others like them, get off the streets and on their way to a new life.

Help spread the word!
* Check out http://www.iamheremlf.org and pass it along to your friends and family
* Follow @iamheremlf and @MLFNOW on Twitter to receive updates as we count down to the big event. We’ll also be tweeting live from the kickoff on April 27.
* Join the conversation on Twitter using the #iamhere hashtag
* Invite your friends to show their support for MLF and the “I Am Here” Facebook campaign and RSVP to the event

Thanks in advance for supporting this great cause and helping us get the word out. With your help, we can change the world one human at a time.

Jackass

I was married to my ex for 8 years, we had our oldest (18yo) before we were married. I left him while I was a few months pregnant with our youngest (4yo). I won’t go into details why I left him but it was for a very good reason. A few months before I left we started a durable medical equipment company together. He did all the legwork, I did all the research (rules, licenses, etc). But things got unbearable for me, so I had no choice but to leave.

We were in and out of court for 2 years after I left. We tried to reconcile the first year but it didn’t work out. A month after I left for the second time he started seeing some girl, I was still afraid to date. A few months later this girl was pregnant, we weren’t even officially divorced yet. I had to face him and his girlfriend every time I went to court. At this time I was still terrified of him, but going through this so many times just made me stronger. We finally came to an agreement on the settlement. I gave up my half of the business for a large amount that was to be paid out monthly. It was official, we were divorced! A few months later he re-married, I was STILL afraid to date.

Getting this jerk to pay the child support and the settlement was difficult. He would pay one and not the other or not pay for months. It was getting frustrating having to call my lawyer daily and not know what was going on. I hated it. I started talking to his sister so the kids could have at least their favorite Aunt back in their lives. She said the ex wasn’t doing well emotionally because he wanted to see his kids. She said “just give him a call, he is different now”. I thought about it for a long time and talked to the kids to see what they thought. We agreed they needed their dad.

The ex and I had a nice long conversation, he had seemed to change. He said all he wanted were his kids back in his life and he promised he would pay me on time and we could just get rid of the lawyers. I agreed. I met his wife, who is very nice and we all got together so he could get reacquainted with the kids. Everything was looking great. He told me I would never need to worry about money because “as the mother of his kids I shouldn’t have to suffer financially.”

Things were great at first. He was paying on time and we were getting along. Then he would pay later and later and here we are today and I haven’t received a payment in months. The kids still see him and talk about where they went out to eat (I haven’t been able to in months) what they bought at the mall etc. So I would send an angry text to the ex, he’d reply with an angry text then later reply with an apology, saying he is just stressed but he promises he will send the child support tomorrow, always tomorrow.

Now he is saying he sent it last Monday. I should have gotten it by now. My landlord just paid me a visit and said if I don’t pay the rent by tomorrow we will be evicted. Luckily my mom has come to the rescue, again. I know he continues to spend money on stupid things while I can’t even pay the bills.

I have searched for a job but once they know I have a child with medical problems I never hear from them again. Yes, my son has a nurse, but it is only for a few hours a day. I have tried to start making jewelry just to get some money, but it’s not enough. I wish my ex would try to at least see things through my eyes. This will never happen, the world revolves around him.

I asked him the other day if he could take our oldest to the doctor, she was running a fever and had a bad sore throat. He said why can’t you do it? I told him my car battery is still dead because I can’t afford to replace it. He said well call an ambulance. Yes, he is that selfish. Like I, said why couldn’t I have chosen a better ex?

‘Scuse My Behavior

My Twitter Etiquette

First let me say these are only my opinions and everyone should be allowed to use twitter however they like within twitter’s TOS, of course.

Following And Unfollowing

I was recently put on an “unfollow” list with the description “they came they saw they left”. I was following this person for months and enjoyed their tweets. I did not, as the list implies, follow then quickly unfollow. My tastes just changed, that’s why I unfollowed. The same goes for another person I recently stopped following who actually called me out in a tweet and said something about me being boring, childish move on their part.

I believe how you behave on twitter is an extension of who you really are, with the exception of accounts that are acting as a persona. Being unfollowed on twitter tends to bring out the ‘real’ person. If I’m unfollowed, I’ll admit, it bugs me a little but I don’t automatically unfollow them or criticize them. It’s not Myspace or Facebook where ‘unfriending’ can sometimes ruin real friendships (although there I don’t care either). It’s Twitter where most people don’t really know their followers in real life. I was unfollowed, is my life so trivial that I let this upset me to the extent of retaliation?

Asking For A Follow Back

I’ll admit, I did this one time, but, I’ve realized everyone has their own criteria for following back.

These are mine:

I review each of my new followers’ timelines and let that be my deciding factor to follow or not. I don’t look at numbers or even the bio or lists, I look at what they tweet. I will even go back to old followers that I never followed and re-review them because tastes change!

Avatars

This really has more to do with common sense than etiquette. If you don’t have an avatar chances are I’ll mistake you for a spam account. It doesn’t need to be of yourself just as long as it’s not the default.

Grammar

So you’re tweeting something brilliant, unfortunately, you won’t be taken seriously or might even be seen as dumb if your spelling and grammar suck. I use spell check and re-read my tweet before hitting enter, and using all caps could be mistaken for shouting, unless you’re @DRUNKHULK then it is taken as being, well, the Hulk, who’s drunk.

Follow Friday

I don’t mind seeing follow friday tweets in my timeline. I DO mind seeing whoever received the follow friday recommendation or shout out retweet the recommendation. To me it would be the same as clapping for yourself when you receive an award or bragging. I’ll only retweet my follow Friday if it was funny other then that I DM a response.

Critics

I think it’s rude to tell someone their tweet was stupid unless they ask for your feedback. I don’t jump down someone’s throat because I don’t agree with their opinions or views. If I don’t like a tweet, I move on, there are many other tweets in the sea. It’s also idiotic to say ‘I’m unfollowing you because of that last tweet”, just unfollow, don’t announce it!

Blocking

I have a handful of accounts I’ve blocked, most of them spam bots and one stalker. Someone recently told me they block people who won’t follow them back. What’s the point in this? Maybe, they only follow a certain type of tweeter and you aren’t their type. You obviously followed them because you like their tweets, why block them? Maybe, like me, they’ll go back later and look at your timeline and decide to follow you.

*These are just my opinions based on my. experiences with twitter. The beautiful thing about it is there are no set rules (except those in the TOS) so it’s up to you how you want to behave. *