Sweatpea Langan

Can't shake it

Wed, 05 May 2010 15:00:53 -0500

Since my divorce I’ve learned to shut my feelings down when it comes to relationships. It’s easy to do once you learn how. When I start thinking too much about a certain guy I’ll just find something else to occupy my mind. This has worked well for a long time, until recently.

I have managed to get this one guy out of my mind but he has started invading my dreams. I’m not going to lie, our relationship is purely sexual. I do not want to fall for him, I can’t have my heart broken again. I should really just stop seeing him, stop answering his calls and texts. I think this is what I’ll do.

Whatever

Fri, 30 Apr 2010 00:06:42 -0500

I’ve never been able to make friends easily. Call it insecurity or shyness or just being picky, but I have always had one or two really good girl friends. After I got married I lost touch with them and was never able to find them again after my divorce.

I have a few friends now, all male, but it’s not the same. I can’t call them up for a good gossip or bitch fest, or go shopping with them, I miss that. If I call up a guy friend when I’m depressed all they want to do is try and fix the problem, a female will listen and help you plot revenge. I can’t go partying with my male friends, they tend to get jealous when I flirt with other guys.

I just need a good friend, someone who won’t want to sleep with me or fix things for me. So, when people tell me, you have to have friends you hang out with, honestly, I don’t.

Twitter is my escape from this, my comedic relief, my mask. I try hard to keep my real life problems private, but I can only keep so much to myself.

CLEVERer: Dear Natalie Portman...

Wed, 28 Apr 2010 14:01:01 -0500

CLEVERer: Dear Natalie Portman...:

moegreeb:

Dear Natalie Portman,

You don’t know me but I’m kind of a big deal. My name is Sam and I’m fucking amazing. So are you. You’re a Princess. A Princess wrapped inside an Angel wrapped inside ANOTHER Angel! You make rainbows cry, you’re so beautiful. The only difference between you and the Mona Lisa is that the Mona Lisa looks like a piece of shit…. You can’t be made in God’s image because there’s no way that God is as hot as you. Seriously. You’re epic.

Don’t worry: I’m not crazy! I don’t have voodoo dolls (of you) or write weird poetry (about you) or cry in the grocery store because they’re out of my favorite cereal bar AGAIN. In fact, I’m the opposite of crazy. If anything, I’m SO SANE it’s crazy!!!

Stuff you should know about me:

*I’ve been stung by bees over 18 times in my life but AM STILL NOT AFRAID OF THEM!

*I once ate an entire watermelon in twelve minutes.

*I have a great voodoo doll collection.

*I am tall, dark, and handsome! (except mostly the first, none of the second, and a smattering of the third)

*I can go to sleep just like that!

*I’m the lead singer of my indie-neo-folk/rock fusion band ‘WE SHOT THE BABY AND SMOKED THE NIGHT’

*If you ever hear me tell a story about apple picking, DON’T BELIEVE IT! I’ve never done it!

I know what you’re probably thinking right now. You’re thinking: Hey. I’m Natalie Portman. I am just sitting in my trailer, doing my Natalie Portman things that I do. Man do I wish Mr. Right would post a creepy-yet-endearing blog/loveletterthingy at 3:13 in the morning already! Because that’s how I, Natalie Portman, think I will find true love: through a Tumblr post that gets reblogged and RT’d until it reaches my perfect, enchanting, and luminous eyes. Oh, hey! There’s Jude Law’s dad! Hi Mr. La-

Sorry I had to cut myself off there. I could think like you all night!

Anyways, I think you get it: I’m pretty dope and you should get a hold of me. We’ll hit up Applebee’s for lunch in Times Square, then go to the Bronx Zoo and tease the marsupials, then bowling, then back to Applebee’s for Happy Hour then.. who knows??? Make Out Party 5000? Scrapbooking??

If you want to get a hold of me to make your dreams come true my AIM name is: thedarkmustache561.

SINCERELY,

Sam Grittner

Dude, if this works…I’m so writing a letter to Tricia Helfer.

The Dreaded Follow Friday

Fri, 23 Apr 2010 18:20:40 -0500

I can see why some people can’t stand Follow Friday on Twitter. Who wants their twitter stream flooded with a bunch of names? I’m not going to follow any recommendations that resemble this:

#FollowFriday @name1 @name2
@name3 @name4 @name5
@name6 @name7 @name8

Why should I follow? Are they funny? It’s follow friday vomit all over my time line. What’s worse then this? Retweeting EVERY SINGLE RECOMENDATION YOU GET!! It’s worse then follow friday vomit. I’m going to start unfollowing whoever does this.

If you want someone to actually follow the people you mention, add a description to it. Or do individual mentions. I like to retweet something funny the person said, kind of like saying, here’s an example of how they tweet, follow for more.

I think #FollowFriday would be much less of a pain if we didn’t just vomit a list of names. It’s kind of lazy and if you really wanted anyone to follow these people you would try to make it meaningful.

I’m not saying I’m a twitter expert, these are just my opinions.

And like that your life has changed

Thu, 22 Apr 2010 19:54:52 -0500

The beginning of my son

The day I found out my 3rd baby was a boy I was ecstatic!! I already had two girls, it was time for something different. This pregnancy was going so smoothly, I was never nauseated, not extremely sleepy, just the right amount of weight gain. It was all perfect!

I drove myself to all of my doctor’s appointments, a good thirty minute drive, never expecting anything out of the ordinary from these visits. I was in my 6th month of pregnancy when the normal doctor’s visit turned into something that other people go through never me.

I was having a routine sonogram but the technician was taking longer then usual, measuring and re-measuring. I just figured she was new and didn’t know what she was doing. She printed out the sonogram with the measurements and walked silently out of the room. I figured something is wrong with the machine. She walked back in with another woman who, took more pictures and measurements. . She assured me it was probably nothing to worry about (what was nothing to worry about??) and to get dressed and please wait in the hall to speak with the doctor.

I waited for what seemed like hours. Trying hard to figure out what was wrong. He finally called me into his office and asked me about my family (he and my dad are good friends). Just get to it, I kept thinking. He let out a big sigh and told me my baby’s head was measuring larger then normal. That it was probably nothing to worry about but they want to run more tests. I figured he meant another time, maybe next week, he meant immediately. Oh God, this is more serious then anyone is telling me.

It was dark by the time I left the office. . I was sore from being poked and examined. I was in complete shock. Hydrocephalus (water on the brain), for some reason his brain fluid wasn’t draining properly. The doctor said he would see me weekly from this point on to measure any changes. This couldn’t be happening, it didn’t feel real.

A Good Cause

Thu, 22 Apr 2010 18:55:18 -0500

Over 3.5 million people in America are homeless and most exist without a voice. Mobile Loaves & Fishes, an Austin-based nonprofit providing food and homes to the homeless and working poor, is changing that with the launch of a dramatic new mobile giving and awareness campaign, I Am Here.

April 27-28, Mobile Loaves & Fishes is teaming up with Austin-based marketing firm T3 and Reagan Outdoor Advertising to elevate the issue of homelessness to a level that nobody can ignore.

Please show your support for this great cause. More details to come! Be sure to tune into http://www.iamheremlf.org on the morning of April 27 to check out the big unveiling.

Here’s how you can help now:

Text “DANNY” to 20222 to donate $10 to this worthy cause and help Danny and Maggie, and others like them, get off the streets and on their way to a new life.

Help spread the word!
* Check out http://www.iamheremlf.org and pass it along to your friends and family
* Follow @iamheremlf and @MLFNOW on Twitter to receive updates as we count down to the big event. We’ll also be tweeting live from the kickoff on April 27.
* Join the conversation on Twitter using the #iamhere hashtag
* Invite your friends to show their support for MLF and the “I Am Here” Facebook campaign and RSVP to the event

Thanks in advance for supporting this great cause and helping us get the word out. With your help, we can change the world one human at a time.

Jackass

Tue, 20 Apr 2010 18:27:30 -0500

I was married to my ex for 8 years, we had our oldest (18yo) before we were married. I left him while I was a few months pregnant with our youngest (4yo). I won’t go into details why I left him but it was for a very good reason. A few months before I left we started a durable medical equipment company together. He did all the legwork, I did all the research (rules, licenses, etc). But things got unbearable for me, so I had no choice but to leave.

We were in and out of court for 2 years after I left. We tried to reconcile the first year but it didn’t work out. A month after I left for the second time he started seeing some girl, I was still afraid to date. A few months later this girl was pregnant, we weren’t even officially divorced yet. I had to face him and his girlfriend every time I went to court. At this time I was still terrified of him, but going through this so many times just made me stronger. We finally came to an agreement on the settlement. I gave up my half of the business for a large amount that was to be paid out monthly. It was official, we were divorced! A few months later he re-married, I was STILL afraid to date.

Getting this jerk to pay the child support and the settlement was difficult. He would pay one and not the other or not pay for months. It was getting frustrating having to call my lawyer daily and not know what was going on. I hated it. I started talking to his sister so the kids could have at least their favorite Aunt back in their lives. She said the ex wasn’t doing well emotionally because he wanted to see his kids. She said “just give him a call, he is different now”. I thought about it for a long time and talked to the kids to see what they thought. We agreed they needed their dad.

The ex and I had a nice long conversation, he had seemed to change. He said all he wanted were his kids back in his life and he promised he would pay me on time and we could just get rid of the lawyers. I agreed. I met his wife, who is very nice and we all got together so he could get reacquainted with the kids. Everything was looking great. He told me I would never need to worry about money because “as the mother of his kids I shouldn’t have to suffer financially.”

Things were great at first. He was paying on time and we were getting along. Then he would pay later and later and here we are today and I haven’t received a payment in months. The kids still see him and talk about where they went out to eat (I haven’t been able to in months) what they bought at the mall etc. So I would send an angry text to the ex, he’d reply with an angry text then later reply with an apology, saying he is just stressed but he promises he will send the child support tomorrow, always tomorrow.

Now he is saying he sent it last Monday. I should have gotten it by now. My landlord just paid me a visit and said if I don’t pay the rent by tomorrow we will be evicted. Luckily my mom has come to the rescue, again. I know he continues to spend money on stupid things while I can’t even pay the bills.

I have searched for a job but once they know I have a child with medical problems I never hear from them again. Yes, my son has a nurse, but it is only for a few hours a day. I have tried to start making jewelry just to get some money, but it’s not enough. I wish my ex would try to at least see things through my eyes. This will never happen, the world revolves around him.

I asked him the other day if he could take our oldest to the doctor, she was running a fever and had a bad sore throat. He said why can’t you do it? I told him my car battery is still dead because I can’t afford to replace it. He said well call an ambulance. Yes, he is that selfish. Like I, said why couldn’t I have chosen a better ex?

terrillific: PR Fail! This probably could have been worded...

Sun, 18 Apr 2010 15:45:00 -0500

terrillific:

PR Fail! This probably could have been worded better for the Pope.

Hi New Followers

Sun, 18 Apr 2010 11:45:34 -0500

I don't post much, but I do post! Enjoy!

'Scuse My Behavior

Sat, 17 Apr 2010 15:42:38 -0500

My Twitter Etiquette

First let me say these are only my opinions and everyone should be allowed to use twitter however they like within twitter’s TOS, of course.

Following And Unfollowing

I was recently put on an “unfollow” list with the description “they came they saw they left”. I was following this person for months and enjoyed their tweets. I did not, as the list implies, follow then quickly unfollow. My tastes just changed, that’s why I unfollowed. The same goes for another person I recently stopped following who actually called me out in a tweet and said something about me being boring, childish move on their part.

I believe how you behave on twitter is an extension of who you really are, with the exception of accounts that are acting as a persona. Being unfollowed on twitter tends to bring out the ‘real’ person. If I’m unfollowed, I’ll admit, it bugs me a little but I don’t automatically unfollow them or criticize them. It’s not Myspace or Facebook where ‘unfriending’ can sometimes ruin real friendships (although there I don’t care either). It’s Twitter where most people don’t really know their followers in real life. I was unfollowed, is my life so trivial that I let this upset me to the extent of retaliation?

Asking For A Follow Back

I’ll admit, I did this one time, but, I’ve realized everyone has their own criteria for following back.

These are mine:

I review each of my new followers’ timelines and let that be my deciding factor to follow or not. I don’t look at numbers or even the bio or lists, I look at what they tweet. I will even go back to old followers that I never followed and re-review them because tastes change!

Avatars

This really has more to do with common sense than etiquette. If you don’t have an avatar chances are I’ll mistake you for a spam account. It doesn’t need to be of yourself just as long as it’s not the default.

Grammar

So you’re tweeting something brilliant, unfortunately, you won’t be taken seriously or might even be seen as dumb if your spelling and grammar suck. I use spell check and re-read my tweet before hitting enter, and using all caps could be mistaken for shouting, unless you’re @DRUNKHULK then it is taken as being, well, the Hulk, who’s drunk.

Follow Friday

I don’t mind seeing follow friday tweets in my timeline. I DO mind seeing whoever received the follow friday recommendation or shout out retweet the recommendation. To me it would be the same as clapping for yourself when you receive an award or bragging. I’ll only retweet my follow Friday if it was funny other then that I DM a response.

Critics

I think it’s rude to tell someone their tweet was stupid unless they ask for your feedback. I don’t jump down someone’s throat because I don’t agree with their opinions or views. If I don’t like a tweet, I move on, there are many other tweets in the sea. It’s also idiotic to say ‘I’m unfollowing you because of that last tweet”, just unfollow, don’t announce it!

Blocking

I have a handful of accounts I’ve blocked, most of them spam bots and one stalker. Someone recently told me they block people who won’t follow them back. What’s the point in this? Maybe, they only follow a certain type of tweeter and you aren’t their type. You obviously followed them because you like their tweets, why block them? Maybe, like me, they’ll go back later and look at your timeline and decide to follow you.

*These are just my opinions based on my. experiences with twitter. The beautiful thing about it is there are no set rules (except those in the TOS) so it’s up to you how you want to behave. *

First time this has happened to me

Sun, 04 Apr 2010 19:35:29 -0500

If you’re a reader of this Tumbr page then you are aware of my son’s medical short comings. You’re also aware of how much he means to me!
Well, today, in the check out line at Walgreens, Noah was sitting in the cart happily playing with his toy guitar. A little boy, probably around age 8, asked me “what’s wrong with his face?” and “why does he look so weird?”. I didn’t take offense to this because kids are naturally curious. I was about to explain the syndrome Noah had when his mother cut me off. She pulled him away saying “don’t be rude” “that’s not nice” and “don’t stare”. I think she made a bigger scene than her kid.

When I look at Noah I don’t see his disability, I see a beautiful little boy with big green eyes full of wonder. I am thankful he isn’t old enough to understand what the little boy was saying. I’m just scared for the day to come when he does.

I’m just wondering how I should react next time this happens?

MY List of Annoying Twitterererer...er's

Wed, 17 Feb 2010 12:06:01 -0600

1. The Intellectually Challenged: These are the tweets that make you pull out your urban dictionary and even then you have no clue what they’re saying. For Example:

#idontunderstandwhy evryone 35+ think they seventeen lol tryna have babies, got sidekicks, babyhair all out #FAIL

2. The I only follow you if you follow me twit: I personally think the follow back list is a load of crap. If you have something that interests me then I’ll follow you. I’m not going to follow the person that only tweets about pets and pet care, I don’t own a pet. If you don’t enjoy my tweets don’t follow me, simple as that. If you unfollow me and I still enjoy your tweets I will keep following you. I don’t care how many followers I have. I believe in quality not quantity. I was being serious when I tweeted this http://twitter.com/AmyRangel/status/8995421139.

3. The Negative Twit: I try to surround myself with positive people and if ALL of your tweets remind me of Eyeore you’re just bringing me down. I don’t want to read about how lonely and sad you feel. Sure we all have our off days and it’s cool if you want to let off some steam on twitter, I know I have, but if that’s all you tweet about, go see a therapist.

4. The Plagiarizer: I have seen some tweets that look very familiar, actually exactly the same and they don’t give credit to the person who originally wrote the tweet. Another type falls into this category, the person who has nothing clever to say so they google funny one liners and claim the quote as their own.

5. The Symbol Tweeter: These people only tweet symbols. They show up as black squares on my blackberry, stop it.

6. The Pseudo Celeb: Sure what you tweet is funny and you have a few thousand followers and I don’t care if you follow me, when I respond to one of your tweets have the decency to respond back.

7. The Celebrity Stalker: Their twitter stream is mostly made up of replies to celebrities telling them how great they are or completely agreeing with whatever the celebrity said. Don’t you think these people get tired of having their asses kissed?

Eight Principles of Fun

Mon, 15 Feb 2010 18:50:17 -0600

Eight Principles of Fun:

I try to visit this site when I’m feeling blue

Actual message sent to me on myspace

Wed, 10 Feb 2010 16:38:00 -0600

Example of a bad first impression:

You have a beautiful face. And I like the way you think. I moved back to the Valley from ******* Went to Colledge In *******, lived In ***** after. and then moved to **********. I like Intelegant People open minded. I used to be an exec for Disney. And my wife was an Attorney and Had her Masters in Special Ed Was Working on her PHD.

Sure his grammar is awful, but I have to ask…What happened to his wife? I think he killed her *shiver*

Ironic he misspelled college and intelligent

I took out the parts where he names actual places for sake of anonymity.

ramness: thedailywhat: Muppets Studio Video of the Day: All...

Wed, 10 Feb 2010 16:20:53 -0600

ramness:

thedailywhat:

Muppets Studio Video of the Day: All poor Beaker wants to do is perform a meepy rendition of the Kansas classic “Dust in the Wind,” but anonymous YouTube comment bullies are making it very difficult for him to concentrate.

Meep on, Beaker. Meep on.

[muppetsstudio.]

My other blog

Tue, 09 Feb 2010 13:05:00 -0600

My other blog:

A recollection of my life

My only boy, my youngest baby, the joy of my life turns 4...

Tue, 09 Feb 2010 12:52:00 -0600

My only boy, my youngest baby, the joy of my life turns 4 today! This boy is a miracle. He was born with Goldenhar Syndrome. He wasn’t expected to live through his first year of life. He has pulled through and surprised everyone! We have worked hard with him to get him where he is today, physical, occupational and speech therapy three times a week. Despite his physical problems he is a bright, beautiful and inspirational little boy. I can’t imagine one day of my life without him.